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15/06/2011 / Pedanto

Snakes on a plane

Of course by snakes I mean a pair of absolutely mental believers.

On my flight over to Adelaide I was sat at the back and decided to stretch my legs near the cookie cupboard around 5am local time (which as far as I can tell was around 7am in the time vortex that this reverse TARDIS was travelling through) and I started chatting to a talkative chap and his much quieter boyfriend about life the universe and everything.

Somehow the conversation came around to Osama bin Laden – at which point (without a hint of irony) this gent claimed “he’s been dead since 2001 and they’ve just been keeping his body for political reasons, why else would they bury him at sea?”

Realising I’d just stumbled on a conspiracy lover I decided it would be best to be diplomatic and not point out how little sense his point/question had made so my response was something along the lines of “I don’t know much about that to be honest and I’m not sure what the political motives would be about that, in fact I mainly only talk about healthcare issues when it comes to conspiracy”. He then began the following conversation with the statement “well here’s my problem with doctors”. I apologise if it’s a little self-indulgent writing my own experience, but as I’m not keeping a travel blog it’s sort of sticking with the norm. This is an abridged version with my rebuttal cut very short.

  1. All doctors are schills for big Pharma and you’re all brainwashed by them” – “Well actually healthy skepticism is actually taught as part of our course, furthermore most doctors pride themselves on not being big Pharma’s bitch. I would want quite a lot more money from them if I was working for them
  2. But you’re always peddling these flu vaccines – I don’t see how these diseases can just come out of nowhere so often they must be made in a lab and released to make money” – “Well you see flu is a virus and therefore evolves extremely quickly, it then spreads across the world (from the far east if it’s seasonal generally) and we create vaccines based upon what appeared in China last year. Simply because you don’t understand evolution and medical epidemiology doesn’t mean there’s a conspiracy there.
  3. yes but if doctors concentrated on health prevention more than just fixing people who are already ill we’d not need all these drugs. After all most disease is caused by what people eat” – “we do a lot of health prevention but unfortunately it often isn’t enough, not everyone will do what is healthiest all the time, and even if they did many would fall at either end of an unfortunate bell curve. A lot of disease may be related to what we eat but it’s probably not the major cause globally for all health issues
  4. Yes but if we stop eating GM food (which according to this chap is all non-organic food) and just ate organic we’d all be much healthier. Afterall GM food has no nutritional value whatsoever“- “GM food has not been shown to have any difference in nutritional values or health outcomes. Any discrepancy could easily be explained away by the demographics that eat organic food being much more affluent.GM food does have nutrition in it, in fact much food treated with pesticides and fertilisers are nutritionally better than organic food as they are pretty much fortified already. Also if we decided to feed the world on organic food we’d have to get rid of a lot of people due to how much land would be required” (at that point his boyfriend chirruped up with “I’ve read something which proves that wrong” – but could neither cite it nor remember what it actually said so I just ignored it)
  5. But organic food tastes so much better and looks so much different” – “Actually that’s because you’re eating ripe food you retard, a quick google might show you that
  6. Google is a government front and therefore unreliable” – “RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
  7. Doctors want to give us drugs even though we can get everything naturally” – “No we can’t most (i.e. pretty much all) drugs are natural extracts which have been modified to be more efficacious
  8. No they’re not drug companies can’t make any money from natural products” – “Aspirin, penicillin, quinine – all natural, all big money makers” (during this discussion he told me with serious conviction that Flemming did not discover penecillin….fucking idiot)
  9. yeh but why haven’t they released their cure for cancer yet then? We all know they’ve discovered it, but they’re already making too much money for it to be released” – “Right…beacuse you couldn’t sell a cure for cancer for much. Plus which cancer do you mean….?An all cancer cure would obviously be such a wasted investment
  10. The reason natural products aren’t marketed by drug companies is because anyone can make them” – “Ah yes that’s why there’s no money in food, clothes or energy
  11. It’s a disgrace the government and the FDA (you’re English they have nothing to do with you halfwit) don’t let people sell cures for cancer when there are so many documented naturopathic cases” -“The fact we have a few anecdotal pieces of evidence from people who want to see a reason why their action caused their spontaneous remission is not enough evidence to start treating everyone with shit there is no data for. The reason that it’s illegal to claim that stuff that’s not been proved can cure cancer is because it leaves a lot of opportunity for people to take advantage of vulnerable people with very little hope.
  12. We read everyday about people accidentally overdosing from prescription medication that doctors prescribe” -“No we don’t YOU read that you read that everyday. Try getting a paracetamol overdose – it’s rather a long process getting all those little pills out….No seriously try taking an overdose

We decided to disagree as he revealed he “read a lot” and that he liked Mike Adams. I said I liked evidence. He did not approve. Apparently life is not exciting enough without seeing the one world government and its illuminati lizard people pulling strings behind the scenes.

Who do you prefer?


Don’t be a twat



Leave a Comment
  1. Tired and surly / Jun 15 2011 11:41

    Playing the Logical Fallacy game with this guy was great – I don’t think he had any idea what any of them meant though

  2. Amber K / Jun 22 2011 02:33

    I’m surprised that between the cabin pressure and this conversation that your head didn’t explode.

    • Tired and surly / Jun 22 2011 09:55

      A lot of alcohol therapy was required after this episode. Thank the jebus that Qantas are generous with their shiraz!

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